• week 1
• week 2

week 1 (day -1 to 7)

day -1-1

• DAY -1: arrived at hospital. lots of paperwork and organizing and even more waiting. met my roommate.
• DAY 0: surgery day! wasn't allowed to eat or drink before the surgery as always. when i woke up i had apparently ripped out a needle from my hand (i do not remember doing that) and was just in a lot of pain.
• DAY 1: i was sleeping a lot and still in a lot of pain. also had bed rest

day 2

i was finally allowed/able to get up and grab my laptop, so now i can report live from the hospital.

i had surgery the day before yesterday and today is the first day i'm feeling more like a human. as far as i know everything went well and is healing like it's supposed to, but as always i'm in more pain than expexted (and/or the pain medication works worse than normal) so the first two days were just a lot of pain until they upped my meds. now it's pretty ok.

i don't want to go into details, but this is by far the roughest of the surgeries i had. which makes sense - there is a lot going on. i really hope this is the last surgery, and that i don't need corrections or something like that, but there is no way of knowing and i'm trying not to dwell on that. for now it's just resting, ignoring the pain and combating the boredom.

day 3-4

• DAY 3:
• DAY 4:

day 5

i have severely underestimated the amount of sensory issues that come up with this surgery. everything is sticky and damp and itchy and holy hell, the smell is the fucking worst. i wasn't aware that apparently the bandages stay on for at least five days in a row! without changing them! it's awful! and because today is a sunday and tomorrow is a holiday, i have to wait until after that for them to finally take them off.

i'm so overstimulated. if they tell me i'll have to wait even longer than that, i'll break down crying. or screaming. or both. i still might.

deep breaths. through my mouth because i. hate. that. smell. sorry, i'm tense and in a bad mood.

besides this mess, it's mostly ok. pain is manageable at the moment, but they just lowered my pain meds so we'll see if it stays that way. mobility is still pretty low, but i can walk around for a few minutes - standing and sitting don't work nearly as well. my roommate is nice and i like his company, which is definitely a plus and yesterday i even got a visit from a friend! it was great to see them and have that feeling of familiarity and safety. that helped a lot and i appreciated it. also, they brought some snacks :)

i'm so looking forward to going home. it might be in two days, it might be later. i don't know and i don't like that uncertainty, but right now i'm trying to get through one day at a time.

day 6-7

• DAY 6: i started with four tubes, and as of today i'm down to two. finally. maybe one more will get removed while i'm here, or maybe i'll go home with these two still attached.
• DAY 7: my roommate got released today, but i still have to stay three more days (or like, 2 full ones and the next day i can go home). but hey, i'm finally free of the bandages and i got to see my result for the first time! also friend visited again :)

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week 2 (day 8 to 14)

day 8-10

• DAY 8: got a new roommate.
• DAY 9: overextended myself. i'm getting more mobile, but it's still not great. would do good to remember that.
• DAY 10: got released! they were surprisingly quick with all the paperwork. i was handed a big bag of medical supplies, a check up appointment in 2 weeks and sent on my way. the way home sucked. normally i like train rides, but i still can't sit very well, so it hurt a lot. plus i was feeling very weak and exhausted, but still had to move my luggage around. don't recommend traveling alone, via train and with all your luggage after a surgery. friends picked me up as soon as i was in berlin and helped me get home.

day 11

first full day alone. obviously i immediately overextended myself by going to the pharmacy and a store to pick up more supplies (i though i would have enough for at least the first week but nope). also i'm way more freaked out and paranoid than i expected. it's surprisingly scary to be the only one resposible for what is still a big and fresh wound and i don't even know what is considered normal or not. i just want everything to heal well because i don't think i could do another surgery right now (or in the close-ish future).

this is all very overwhelming. i hope it well get better in the next couple of days when i've had some time to get used to the new situation.

the surgery area is feeling weird, but i don't know if that's new or if i'm just now noticing it because my pain medication level is way lower than it was in the hospital. i was realeased on a fridayand had to travel for hours, so when i got back my gp was already closed, so i have to manage with over the counter stuff until i can get a prescription for better stuff on monday.

DAY 12: apparently evenings are when i get the most worried. also, it really really sucks when you can't sit due to surgery and can't stand for long because of pots. so it's just a lot of laying down, which brings back pain, boredom and nausea.

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supplies

for hospital

• :

for home

• (suprapubic) catheter stuff :
  • disinfectory stuff that is explicitly(!) good for catheter sites
  • bags: i have one big one for nights (these can be used for two weeks), and smaller ones that can be affixed to my legs (these can only be used for three days)
  • valve: i don't like the bags so i wanted to have a valve as my main thing
  • big bandaid for putting over the spot where the cathether comes out of the skin
• :
• :

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