th0ughts and th1ngs wr1tten 1nt0 the v01d
plurality and system stuff
i don't talk or write about it much, because in a weird way it's not very relevant (in the practical sense of the word) most of the time. it's relevant to me and influences every day, but for and from the outside it's rarely so important that i feel like i have to mention it.
for my surroundings me being plural mostly means that my answer to a lot of questions is "well, that depends on the day...", that i often don't remember and/or understand my motivations for doing or saying things and that my behavior/mindset/etc. can shift quickly-ish. basically i'm inconsistent, but in consistent ways.
overview
- collectively / blanket self:
- zero / vincent / legal name
- he/him and it/its, 20s
- achillean oriented aro-ace
- autistic, adhd
regarding terms/language:
i mainly use i/me, but sometimes we/us based on vibes. i identify as plural and/or a system (it depends on the day...), but not multiple and i mainly use the terms members, parts and facets (sometimes also modes, aspects, components and interns). i also use "present" or "influence(s)" as an indicator of who is close to front / co-fronting / affecting the front.
info
median, kinda modular, non-switching. null also sounds relatable.
- currently consisting of:
- host (1)
- base members (5)
- blurred members (3)
- blurred modes
blurred members are consistent, reoccuring blurs of two or more base members and are as distinct and elaborate as the base members, whereas blurred modes are more like a lens, mindset or pattern of emotional flashbacks.
no headspace, some amnesic barriers, lots of emotional amnesia.
hardware and host
shell, filter, interface, front. is the face, voice and vehicle of the entire operation.
is autistic, has adhd, me/cfs and pots (neurodivergence is shared, but not everyone identifies with / accepts having physical disabilities). brainfog and lack of energy limits co-fronting, so there is a lot of static and dead air (which is where null is relatable).
members
- he/him
- regularly present, medium energy requirements
- if i'm wearing anythink pink or dressing more femme, that's probably on him
- femboy?
- likes bones (uk), skirts, lip gloss and plateau shoes
- gay as fuck
- (not a fictive)
- he/him, they/them
- most frequently present, low to medium energy requirements
- in charge of work and university
- gay librarian (cardigan and all)
- intersted in library and information science, archival science, literature, history and philosophy
- it/its, he/him
- very rarely present currently, high energy requirements
- responsible for personal and political anger
- antifascist, anarchist, abolitionist
- would like to do typical activism, but we're too sick
- makes art, mainly writing and zines
- he/him
- regularly present, medium energy requirements
- relates to robots and androids (low to no feelings, disconnect to humanity, focus on logic)
- emotional buffer
- interested in physics (astro and particle in particular), programming, astronomy and mathematics
- he/him
- regularly present, medium energy requirements
- also goes by nico
- introverted, perfectionist, overthinker
- has anxiety (especially social anxiety) and OCD
- responsibilities include carework (mainly when we still lived with family), household chores and family dealings
- fae/faer, it/its
- rarely present currently, medium to high energy requirements
- relates to forest creatures, mythical or not
- if it was an animal it would be a bird, deer or bunny
- easily startled and scared by basically everything
- likes animals, plants, mushrooms, shiny things, arts and crafts
- he/him, they/them
- among the most frequent influences, low to medium energy requirements
- (self-declared) stereotypical alt transmasc with black nail polish, piercings and dyed hair
- mentally ill and disabled
- likes music, books and art
- they/them
- among the most frequent influences, low energy requirements
- dead but here, like a ghost, revenant ot other undead thing
- most comfortable in flowing black clothes and full-face skull make-up
- goth
- only one interested in spirituality
modes that are specific, reoccuring and have enough substance for a name:
- J
- Eden
- 13
- H
there are probably lots of other modes but they are not intense or frequent enough for me to notice (i'm not very perceptive)