previous: issue 9.

it's the tenth issue! i've been doing this for ten months now, which is pretty cool. lots of started and unfinished projects, but i'm still having fun with this website and i haven't lost interest or track! even if i'm not very active at the moment.

typical bulletpoint updates

because long texts and formulations are exhausting.

• 4 years on testosterone: i'm officially 4 years on testo now. which is wild to me. it feels simultaneously longer and shorter. i probably will write something a bit longer about it at some point, when i have the time and brain capacity to properly reflect.
• university: still going, still a lot, still generally interesting. i dropped two seminars tho (which reminds me, i still have to write the emails) but that's fine. honestly my main goal is to just stick with something.
• moving: i'm officially paying rent for the new room and one of my friends (and now flatmates!) gave me an introduction to everything, which was very sweet. the whole thing is starting to feel more real - i'm not used to that yet. the previous tennant moved out a bit earlier, so i spent the last two days painting my room. i chose a nice shade of dark blue for the biggest wall and that one is already finished, now i just have to paint the other ones white. i might have been a bit too ambitious because i'm already exhausted and crashy, but i want the room to feel nice and like home.
  • furniture: i have been spending way too much time thinking about furniture and the logistics of obtaining some. admittedly, i'm probably making it more difficult and complicated than it has to be.
• chronic illness: i think i'm still trying to process having an official diagnosis. it shouldn't change anything, after all i've had the symptoms and suspicion for a while now (plus you don't need a diagnosis to have a chronic illness - that's not how it works), but i think it does affect me? or maybe i'm just bad at resting at the moment and it has nothing to do with the diagnosis, but it does feel connected somehow. i'm not sure how, why or in which way tho.

moving

still going on, but basically all that's left is moving my stuff from a to b. which, like everything else, is daunting. i am so looking forward to being done.

the room is looking really cool so far tho. very dim and dark, which i think is pleasant (both aestethic and sensory-wise).

but i've been really neglecting basically everything besides the move. it's just taking so much of my time, energy and brainspace. which reminds me, i'm out of / late for testo.

well, i barely wrote in here this month. which is fine. this isn't an obligation after all. i do kinda miss it and all the other hobbies and projects tho. the move is done, but now i have to figure out how to live alongside and with friends and how that changes my habits and stuff. i really like it so far, but it's new and new things are always unsettling to me. it'll take a while to settle in.

next: issue 11.