previous: issue 13.

new small features

i figured out new stuff for this website while putting the collages section together:

1. how to make headings linkable / how to link to a specific section on a site.
2. how to have different columns for containers so that one page can have a section with two columns and later one with three. (or four - don't know when i would need that, but i can do that now.)

small things that i could've looked up at any point, i know, but it's still nice.

icon / favicon (is that the term?)

it would be fun to have one but i'm having a hard time deciding what it should be. so i tried around with some 32x32 pixel art, with no conclusive results. (and yes, i like eyes.)

i don't know. not happy with anything i come up with, nothings seems to fit.

playing around with some 64x64 pixel format now. i think it looks better.

i am conflicted about colors. the whole website is very greyscale, so it doesn't really fit but for a favicon it just looks better in my opinion. i could have different color versions for different parts of the website, which could be fun.

some things / complaining / rambling / idk

PROCRASTINATION: i just found out the dates for my two upcoming exams and they are sooner than i thought. so, like a normal person, i used the rare, small, panic-fueled burst of executive function to clean my desk, sort through my pens and pencils, test every single one of them and label several things in my room (ever since i got a label maker, nothing is safe from me).

[i really need to get it together, by which i mean scratch together whatever spoons i can find.]

SLEEP: has been difficult. normally my insomnia is managed ok-ish by my meds, but a couple of weeks ago one of my sleeping medications stopped working properly. no idea what changed. so i went to my doctor and we found a new one to try. i've been taking that for two weeks now and the first few nights were fine. but for some reason the effectiveness started dropping. from 7 hours of sleep, to 6, to 5, to 4.

i am tired. and confused because i can't think of anthing that could cause these changes, but mostly tired.

don't get me wrong, it's still a lot better compared to how it was (and probably would be again) without medication. plus, it's only one of the two that keeps making problems - the one for falling asleep works as well as always. but yeah, i'm not happy with the current situation.

CRASH: i think not sleeping well makes me more likely to crash. today for example i had maybe 4 hours of sleep, the previous nights were only mildly better and i was at work yesterday. on the way back, my legs started to hurt quite badly and when i woke up this morning at fucking 5:30, they still hurt. so do my hands and feet, but that feels more like nerve pain. pressure and light hurt as well, i'm having muslce weaknes, etc., so i think it's fair to say that i'm crashing.

which firstly, is kinda surprising to me? i didn't feel particularly stressed the last week and i didn't do more than usual (i think?), so i didn't expect this crash. it's probably the sleep then? but maybe not, the whole illness feels very unpredictable at times. secondly, a friend is coming to visit me for a couple of days, so this is really bad timing (not for my friend, i mean for the crash). speaking of which:

VISITS: i love my friends and i appreciate them coming to visit me, especially because i've been feeling less and less able to travel and can't pay them a visit back. which seems unbalanced and i don't like that, but it is how it is. anyways. while i've had me/cfs for a while (since 2017-ish?) and am fortunate enough that it's only mild, my baseline has lowered with time.

example: last spring, around easter - so pretty much a year ago - a friend and i went on a small trip to "teufelsberg" (see issue 3 from april 2025). it was really cool and i liked it a lot. however, i don't think i could do that currently (even without the crash). back then i already had a foldable cane that i used from time to time - now i use a crutch almost every time i go outside. it was also before i got pots i think (or at least before it got bad enough to be unignorable) and while i'm on meds now, it's still far from good.

[ok, so i think i wanted to write more but i got tired and now i don't remember what i wanted to write.]

next: issue 15.