thoughts and things written into the void
called the medical supply store and according to them, they should get my wheelchair in ca. middle of october :)
i have an appointment regardig revision surgery in berlin in a few days. originally it was scheduled for later this month, but an earlier date became available, so i jumped on it. i don't have a lot of expectations because most hospitals / surgeons don't seem to want to work on things other surgeons started (which i can understand up to a point). so we'll see.
started playing factorio! i've been flip-flopping between games a lot recently so i don't think it'll last much longer, but it's really fun and i like it a lot.
added a small list of video games i like, because it's really not that many, even though for me it feels like a lot. partly because i only play one game at a time and only for a few days, and then don't go back to it for a while, if at all.
had a doctor appointment regarding revision surgery (see meta (b)log). tl;dr they could do the revision, but it would take at least 2 surgeries. ufff.
also added a small list of music i like and stuff i'm interested in.
university is starting soon...
...and i'm kinda nervous about it. the semester start kinda snuck up on me (i completely lost track of time) and now it's all a bit much, for several reasons:
- there is yet another restructuring at work and from now on i'll have two fixed workdays. which is nice in theory, but because there are different shifts per day, i will probably have to reserve two days for work where i'm not in university - meaning i will probably have something to do every day monday to friday. i don't think i can do that? at least right now i don't have the energy and capacities for that. i need days without appointments, i need rest days. i might not be good at resting, but i still need it. don't now what to do about that yet, because i need the money, so i can't quit my job, but i don't want to drop a course/module at uni either.
- i will probably have surgeries soon. it's not scheduled yet, but the waiting time is pretty short and the revision needs to happen sooner rather than later. that means i will miss a lot of the semester (especially since it will be two surgeries, three months apart). also i'm really unsure how i will tolerate them. this latest surgery really took it out of me and i'm still recovering from it, so the thought of how big the (compounding!) crash might be is worrying to say the least. but maybe it won't be that bad? the two surgeries before (top surgery and hysterectomy) were fine after all, plus these ones won't be as intense and hopefully have less complictions? (←
hopelessdesperate optimist) - using a wheelchair in a situation where people know me without one, is always nerve-wracking. i dread the questions, looks and comments, even if they are well-intended or meant nicely. it's just a lot. there is another ambulatory wheelchair user in my year, which makes it a bit less scary, but still.